I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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