my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
