she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
