Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
