if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
