I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
did i walk over a car last night?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
