it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize