Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
