so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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