we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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