the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
