yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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