ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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