so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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