I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
