Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
