R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
