how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
