oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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