I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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