That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
