I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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