You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
