you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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