dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
