They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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