the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
