i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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