Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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