She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
