so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
