dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
