i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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