too bad you live with your parents still
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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