Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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