Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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