I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
