At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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