Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
