did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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