i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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