Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
