Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
