Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
