my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize