If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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