dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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