Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
