I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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