help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
