i think my mom watched the whole time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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