she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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