But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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