Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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