no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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