I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In America we eat man semen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
