Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
