Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
pray to the hookup gods
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
