ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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