Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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