D3 body, D1 cock
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
