i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
